Now what????? How do I fight this monster???

As I wrote in the last blog post, I am to almost a despirate point that I have got to make some very serious life changing decisions as to where I go from here.

This is my monster I have pictured as being my weight monster!

I have a war to win against this guy!

I know my situation with being somewhat confined to home,  and somewhat limited to outings of many types,  (which even grocery shopping is almost a freedom break if there is such a thing while grocery shopping - lol) and nothing in the near future is going to change.

So I have got to figure out how to do that on a limited playing field.

Mind set!  

I have to get my mind set to do something about this weight no matter what it takes - good, bad or ugly!!!

I came home, still in disbelief of how far I had let this truly go with this monster of weight thing.  

With insulin shot in hand and sat there that night in the dark, all alone, just staring at the insulin vile, telling it (out loud I think)
that it would not be around very long!  I WOULD win some how some way.  I am NOT going to be a part of the world out there that has to take this the rest of my life.  I would do something drastic if necessary!

Then it hit me - BOOM!  I need this NOW.  My situation isn't changing, but I have to and I thought of a very sweet sister in law that has been battling this moster also.

She recently had gastric sleeve surgery to get this under control and in a permenant way.

Oh no I can't do that!  

I have always thought I couldn't and wouldn't make such a drastic venture as this!  

But as I set in the dark and poked my stomach for the first time and pushed the button to release the insulin - Oh your darn right I can!!!

I want something as drastic as this surgery to give me a tool that I can work with in a whole new light!  I want something I cannot reverse or just decide to toss to the side like many diet plans.

This is it!  

The answer to kick my butt into major gear and to get my handle on my monster.

The next day - I contacted my sister in law and wanted to know all the details.  I was very impressed.  She gave me the info and as soon as I mentioned it to hubby, he instantly said - we will figure out a way to get this done if this is what you want.  Yes I do.  So he jumped on it with insurance, etc and got even more details for me.

Within a couple of days I had signed up for the next available orientation of what is all involved with the procedures.  

Just a couple of weeks later, I head to Little Rock for the first conference.

Yay!  I have my mind made up - remember that monster?  I have wiped her nose off and heading to seeing appointments to get the ball rolling to clean up her/my act!

Just like any addict that has ever been known, I have my hiding places for this and that and the other of bites of candy, etc, that I keep hidden for those weak moments.  I have always been a sweet eater for as long as I can remember.

I have learned to pretty much give all them up but still have those lil secret stash places.  They are about empty.  I will finish tossing those soon.  Dollars spent or not - they are drugs of a type.  A drug that I am having a life threatening reacting to!!

I am NOT going to feed this monster any longer!!!

I kwon the war of the smoking monster (which was NOT easy) in 2005 which I guess got this started, or just an excuse to get this started perhaps.

NO more excuses!!!

I have printed a pic of my monster to hang on my fridge.  I want to never forget this creature who I have allowed to silently steal MY life.