1 year post op of weight loss surgery

Hey hey hey!  
I cannot believe it has been one entire year since my Rny (gastric bypass weight loss surgery)  Woo Hoo!  What a ride it has been.  Ups and downs, and spins and twists.  Talk about roller coaster.  But all is good.  Actually all is great!

I have attached a before surgery pic that I took at my first meeting with the Dr. and one that was about 1 month ago.  Then I have a full update of my wild and crazy year journey.

My year in review at 1 yr surgiversary of Rny surgery.

Today, February 3, 2015 is a huge day for me and my journey and battle against "My Monster". 

As of today, it is my 1 year anniversary of one of the biggest, most significant decisions I have ever made.  It was my choice to take back MY LIFE and MY HEALTH! 

One year ago today, I arrived at Baptist Hospital in Little Rock to have a surgery that is referred to as Roux-en-y (RNY) for short.

It is a robotic version of a gastric bypass surgery to re-route my stomach, small intestine to help me to gain control of my weight, diabetes, high blood pressure and many other smaller issues that were contributing to my declining health.

I did NOT enter into this decision to merely "loose weight".  I went into this venture, to gain a tool that I could fight a better battle, more equipped to take on and succeed in the battle of my life.  I though long and hard about this decision. 

Just over a year ago, I was trying to do all I knew I should do with the help of Dr's and many friends, and wonderful husband and daughter and grand-daughter, to try to get this declining health under control, but was desperately losing the battle, slowly but surely as each day passed, becoming more and more, against all the odds of time being on my side. 

I had not long ago, turned 54, and now in my hand at the crucial moment of my truth and awakening, my very first insulin shot.  Yikes!!!

One of my worst fears in my own life, besides the ultimate being cancer, was to face the truth that I had failed, and failed miserably. 

At that crucial moment of truth and awakening, I sat in the dark, alone, as everyone had gone to bed, and held the syringe in my shaking hand, it was like you see in many movies.  The syringe grew larger and my hand shaking, trying to get up the nerve to stick myself in the stomach, knowing it wouldn't be long and it wouldn't be just once a day type of shot.  It would increase in volume, and frequency with time.

I totally lost it!  I totally broke down.  Tears rolling down my cheeks, gasping for air, syringe still in my shaking hand.

I did quite a bit of crying, cursing, and if you know much about me - a laugh in there too.

Along with all of this - quite a bit of praying too. 

What was I going to do.  I had to have an answer and quick.  Sure I have tried and succeeded before in losing the weight, but I had to have something NOW to get this under control NOW.   I truly felt as though I had no time to waste.

WHATEVER it took.  I was to the point, I would have cut off my hand that was holding the insulin syringe if necessary to get a grip on my life.

What???  What was I going to do???

Once again, as I referred to, as in the movies,  an answer suddenly and very clearly popped into my head.  I knew instantly that was it! 

God had taken my shaking hand.  It was a feeling as if it was being held onto and patted.

I could finally take a reasonable breath again, and suddenly my desperate question was answered.

Weight loss surgery! 

I remembered that my sister in law, had recently had a surgery called gastric sleeve, and was doing great with it.  Losing weight which was helping her gain control of her health and life also.

That was it.  My answer and without any single doubt in my mind from that second on, I knew with all of my heart, and without any fear from that moment on, I never once felt nervous or scared to go through with it.  I truly felt I was lead to this decision by my Lord and once again Savior of my life, not just my spirit.

Instantly, my faith was renewed in all aspects of my life.  I would do whatever it took and no matter how long or painful or complicated this may be, I KNEW it was the right thing.

I was able to, without another negative, or nervous though, took my insulin shot, no pain, not anything, just peace of mind that I would NOT take ONE more of those shots than

ABSOLUTELY necessary to get me to the next step of this journey.

I think that was about the longest night I had been through in a while.  I had already written online to my sis in law, all sorts of questions about what steps to take and who to contact.

The next morning, while spending a few minutes with Larry before he would head out to work, I highlighted my adventure, we will call it, from the night before, to Larry.  Not knowing what he would think, I guess in a way I did already know in my heart.

He instantly patted me and said, lets check this out.  And that he would take off whenever and whatever necessary to get me to Little Rock (as I hate driving there) to do whatever necessary to get this started.

Before his first couple of hours had passed at work, he had an email with all sorts of names and links on it to contact the correct people to get the ball rolling.

As phone calls and meetings, insurance approvals, progressed through all the steps of a not so easy process to reach the surgery day, I actually felt so much better and stronger that there WAS actually a light at the end of the tunnel of desperation I was in.

I was counting down the days on my calendar until the day was finally here.  The day to take back MY life! 

I had two weeks prior of surgery to go on a liquid only diet plan.  I had a tough spell a couple of times.  A bit of panic but not over the surgery that seemed to have slowed time, but the withdraw from chewing I guess you could say.  But with only 2 weeks until that would take care of itself by my stomach being - rearranged, it was only a limited time to have to go through. 

Sure I was very much aware that after surgery would not be a piece of "cake" (funny term for "after" weight loss surgery).  But I still had such a strong un-wavering determination, as I have not had in quite some time that THIS was my path, my destiny to follow and that all would be fine.  Whatever happened would happen.  But the alternative was NOT going to happen.

I was in NO way going to back down from this. 

I remember clearly as Larry and I was sliding to Little Rock to check in on an icy road most of the way, he asked if I was nervous and ready to head home yet.

I just said "Nope!  Lets do this"!!! 

Then as I sat all dressed in the lovely hospital gown and cap, I was all giggles.  I was so ready for this to begin.  They got to me really quickly, but seemed to be forever.

Next thing I knew was waking up and being so very dry mouthed, that I couldn't speak.

And sure, without a doubt there was some discomfort.  But still NOTHING as I would have expected and had planned for.  I was thinking it would be much worse. 

My back gave me more trouble from having to lay pretty flat for the first several hours and being dry mouthed.  For the first few hours, absolutely not even any ice chips to suck on.  Which sucked. 

But before long, I got those awesome ice chips, then few hours later, sip of water, hours later,  broth.  Woo Hoo!  Broth.  hehe!

Wasn't really that long until I was up and pacing the halls with a couple of other fabulous gals that had the same surgery by the same group of  three doctors who worked together on all three of us.

We had become "Pouch Peeps" together.  By the next day, we were roaming the halls together to get in our exercise and to work off the swelling from the air and gas they pump you with for surgery.  The nurses definitely got a kick out of us.

On the third day we all were allowed to head home.  Thank goodness for a good dose of pain medication before heading home.  I still barely remember climbing into a four-wheel drive truck and the ride home.  Hmmm.  Good meds.  hehe!

Home sweet home.  It always does look even more awesome when you are away a couple of days.  The faces of my girls, Ashley and Haylee, meeting us at the door was absolutely priceless. 

My dear hubby, and girls took such good care of me.  It was so nice to become a bit spoiled.  Although, it never fails, when you aren't really able to "do" something, is when you want to the most.  Wipe the counter, laundry etc.  

You know all those dreaded daily things.  You suddenly need to do. 

I am still amazed that, in spite of many times of having to lay down a bit here and there pretty often, and having to have someone help me to get flat into the bed, it was all tolerable. 

I definitely say it was not an easy journey.  But worth it - DEFINTELY!

I have grown to know so much about health, diet, good and not so good foods in disguise, and so on.  I have learned thorough trial and error, that "one more bite" WILL make you pay with only a small "egg" size stomach.

Also, have learned the hard way - to make sure you sip ALL the time to get those liquids down. 

And like all the others who followed this path, the dreaded part of about 4 months after, hair starts coming out like crazy.  LOTS of it.  There were days that I would just stare at the hair in my hand instead of my head, and then panic a few times, but it's hair. 

Is it worth losing a lot of hair to gain a lot of control of your life.  YES!

And thank God, it's not the type of hair loss associated with any type of cancer and its treatments.  So this is a minor detail process to go through.

I did finally give in and have it all cut short.  Shorter than I have ever had it in my life.

And no bangs!  OMG no bangs!  Ugh.  That part got me a couple of times, but it was still way better than the dry stringy scrunchy mess left behind to deal with . 

All of this short hair-do is all new, so much more healthy hair.  And it's so amazing how all of my life, I have pretty much fought with my hair, needing it to be so-so and most of the time it not working as I wished it would. 

So through the process of chopping off all the length, and not having it to fuss over has actually become quite liberating.  

What's the silly saying, No muss - No fuss.

I might actually keep it short for a while.  Although bangs will be nice at some future point in time.  They are growing, just extremely slowly.

As for my health, one year later you might ask?  I have lost over 80 pounds since surgery and even more than that from my highest weight, which I have a pic or two of but not actual weight as I wouldn't get on the scales for months to try to avoid reality of it all.

My health - well, I would say - never been better.  I am probably more healthy in so many ways than I have ever been. 

I traded all my prescriptions for high blood pressure, out of control diabetes and all sorts of meds to counter act all the other meds - for a handful of daily vitamins.  And  . . . .my blood work looks amazing. 

I am so full of enlightenment, blessings, excitement and graciousness of all of my special people that have helped me to and through this journey.

To each of you - you hold a very special place in my heart and may God bless you.

Thursday, January 11th, - 4 days left

Counting down the days.

Come on Monster - 

I'm about to have reinforcements 

to help me kick your butt!!!!

As of today, only 4 more days, till my life - our lives forever!  
My surgery is scheduled to take place at 11 am Monday morning in Little Rockat Baptist Medical Center.

My life will sort of start all over again with a whole new angle and lifestyle.  I am so very ready.  I have been pumping myself up a lot for this!

I am soooo ready to toss those insulin shots into a tree as hard as I can and then stomp them also.  

Will also be so very nice to be taking Vitamins (even if it might be several) that will help my body not polute it with medicine that helps one thing, but hurts others.

Today marks day 11 of the 14 days of Liquid diet that was given to me by Dr. Off and on times it's not fun at all and really tough, but it's so normal now, I think I have it made the rest of the time.

And on a very inspiring note, I started on it weighing 217.8
As of this morning - I weigh 209.2!  Yes my dear - single twenties. Woo Hoo to that.  

I have also been working on trying to get everything in order.  Larry will be with me of course.  He's not allowed to leave. lol!  Perhaps to go to cafeteria to eat once in a while.  haha!

Ashley is taking the week off from work and staying here with Haylee, and our aide for mom will be here during the days.
So think the people are handled.  :P

I have saved leftovers here and there so that Larry doesn't really have to cook all that much although he is actually a good cook.

I finished up shopping (I think) with regular price matching stuff, and stocking for them also.

I have all my liquid vitamins and other vitamins, shake mixes, etc all purchased and ready to go also.

There is so much to it over all, but with anything, it will be overwhelming at first, but later be fine.

I even got me a new simple gown to wear hopefully the second day out so it will be sort of normal feeling.

Hair trimmed up, and as my sweetie suggested to make me feel better about this - got new mani w nails and pedi also.  Love that!
and Love that man of mine.

I know I am going to soon start the nervous part of all of this - but for now - I am just counting the days and trying to think ahead of anything to make things easier for all the people involved in this.

I plan on just trying to nap.  lol!  I know they are going to have to see me walk and I am going to do my darnest to do so.  But nap in between times.  :p

I am scheduled on Monday and should be home on Wednesday - some time during the day.  

And of all things, the weather is calling for snow or at least wintery stuff off and on starting Sunday night till Tues night.  Ugg.

Would be sort of cool to see some flurries while there, but not knowing it's on the roads.  Oh well, just hope Doc is spending the night as he and his associates have 4 of us to work on.  lol!

I met a couple of great girls at our Dietian meeting.  Some of us had a chance to exchange phone numbers to text.  What a hoot.

I guess tata for now.  Signing off until next time.

February 1st (surgery month) is finally here.

Seems like I have been waiting forever for this new month to arrive.  I first began this process just before Thanksgiving and had to put it off for a bit to get all the ducks in a row.

And so finally. . .  OMG it is here.  I am 36 hrs from surgery.

I have officially lost 10 lbs so far on the 2 weeks I have been on the required liquid type diet.  Have done extremely better than I thought it would be.

Now we have one other issue to work through.
The weather.
The forcast is calling for a bit of a mess on the day we have to travel to Little Rock for checkin and surgery, and again on the day we are to be released and travel back home.

Interesting!

Hopefully it won't be as bad as they are suggesting to be. Number one in this step is to get Ashley here.  She is coming tomorrow to go over stuff easier before we leave Monday morning. 
But the weather is going to be an issue for that too.  She has decided to come much earlier in the day so she can avoid some of it.
We do have a 4-wheel drive truck that can possibly do better to get us to Little Rock.  But may be a problem for me to get into once I am ready leave the hospital.  

So keeping fingers crossed and eyes on the weather - greatly anticipating the hours clicking by to head to start my new beginning.

One more week to go!

Oh yay, eek!

One week from right now I will be checking in to the hospital to begin the process to transform
my life from here on. So excited and anxious.  Not nervous yet.  Probably once I get in there I will be
but I am so very determined.

I had an almost mishap yesterday with food.  And such an odd one.  You know how you go to get something and grab this or that and not really thinking, well, while making mac & cheese for my
family for dinner, I was slicing some Velvetta to put into a bowl to soften for it.
Before I knew it, it was almost in my mouth.  YIKES!!  I quickly put it down then nearly
cried because of wanting some so very bad.  Such an odd thing.  Ever since my daughter,
Ashley was little, when we would slice it to use, I would always holler for her and we would
have a slice (or two lol).  But  . . . I will have it again.  Just a taste here and there, but a taste
is all that it actually lasts anyway.

You know the old saying that's been around forever - a moment on the lips - forever on the hips!

I am thinking, touch your tongue with a lick of something, and enjoy, but only swallow what's
healthy.  lol!  Some things you can do that with and some have to be devowered.  lol!

Day 6 - moving right along with this pre-op step

Today is day 6 of my 2 wk. pre-op liquid step part of the program.
So hard to believe I have actually made it for this many days in a row without even a nibble.

Tomorrow actually makes it the 1/2 way mark on this first step of the program.  So excited.
Tuesday I will be meeting with the nutritionist with loads of questions and have my hospital
blood work done, then just a matter of waiting till the next Monday for surgery.

I had a pretty miserable day yesterday for most of the day.  My stomach was not wanting to 
cooperate.  I remembered later on, that just about every senerio, websites and facebook pages
on this subjects, says drink more.  

So I downed a couple of glasses of peach tea and water sips in the next hour or so, and it
actually did help.  Perhaps a mind thing too, but I felt better by about 4 or so.

I weighed this morning when I got up and so far in 5 days I have lost 7.5 lbs.  Woo Hoo!
That puts me at 210.4  
Nothing like loosing a bit to make it more motivational.  :)

I have been trying a few new mixtures of this and that so maybe I won't get too bored
with and to find out what I might be open to since cutting out all the other stuff available.

I have actually gotten to the point I like V8 veggie juice.  Not much at a time, but 
beginning to be pretty tasty.  I usually have about 4 oz just before I have my protein
shake so that I feel like that's dinner and the protein shake is dessert.  lol!  I know
it sounds silly.  It's my mind game.  

Today I was reading again for the upteenth time on my list of things I can have,
and it states that I can have oatmeal, grits, and cream of wheat.
Never really cared for oatmeal texture, but after jellos and shakes, might
be worth a try.
I blended the oatmeal so it would be more ground up, then added some splenda and 
cinnamon and fat free milk.  Oh Yumm!!!  Nice and warm something for the tummy.
It was a very happy tummy!

I also added a bit of the chocolate flavored protein shake to it which was even better!!

After that, I made up some banana cream pudding (sf) and thought  it would be an
interesting idea to try puree'ing a banana and adding to it.

Note to self:  pudding doesn't work as well with puree'd stuff added at the beginning.
And although pretty tasty even though runny, tummy didin't like it!!

As we wrap up day 6, my tummy is about to settle from the banana pudding fiasco,
and I still have a protein shake to go before bed.  Then on to day 7.  

Steps are about to officially begin

Jan 14, 2014

I am only a few days away from beginning the process of my 2 weeks full/only liquid diet to head to surgery on February 3rd.  

I have so many thoughts running through my head good, bad, scared, excited, nervous, anxious, and anything else to throw in there too.

I thought it would be a good idea to start putting all my thoughts down on paper - well sort of, since it seems to always help me sort things through better and later on I can look back on where I was and where I am heading.

Happy New Year and my journey is about to get serious!

Happy New Year!  

As 2014 begins, so does my journey to fight my personal monster 
and my schedule is set to take it to the next level.

It has taken what seems like quite a while to get all the ducks in a row to get 
my gastric bypass surgery underway, but it's rolling along now.  

I got all my instructions via email today on when, where and 
what to do in the mean time for pre-op diet of ONLY liquids.

I am getting butterflies now as if a teenager about to go on her first date.  lol!  
I know that's silly, but I have needed and wanted this for so long now 
and it's finally about to happen.  

In spite of all the good, bad and ugly of it all at the beginning, 
I am sooo ready to fight this nasty unhealthy weight monster!

I am about to make the drastic step to gain a very large tool to 
beat this monster over the head and run him off.  

I will keep posted once I get this underway 
and on how the results are beginning to be.  

Steps are progressing. Now just wait.

I didn't get to write this blog post yesterday.  Seems like it's been a bit of a normal zoo around here.  lol!

Larry was able to take off work on Friday so we (along with Haylee) headed to Little Rock to meet with my new Bariatric/Gastric doctor.  

The Dr was fabulous and has a great staff also.  So nice and fun.  Not stuffy as some seem to be.

Anyway, met with Dr.  We discussed all the options available and which would work best personally for me. 

I, along with him quickly rule out the Lap band.  Not enough.  We both consider the Laproscopic Gastric Sleeve.  This has become a good standard which is proving much more succesful than the lap band.

With all my blood glucose numbers being a severe issue in this decision,  we agreed that the Laproscopic Gastric Bypass would be the perfect and necessary option for my best results.  

The techincal name is: Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass.  This procedure is a bit more intense but not the full big bypasses in the past since it's done laproscopic.  

I agreed to the bit larger decision since this one has proven to be the ultimate cure for diabeties.  

So yay, decision made.  Now to work on the setup of when.  

Ugg!  So excited, but yet, it is going to take time as it is more safely and effectively done with 2 surgeons. 

So the scheduling of that is a bit more tricky.  If there is any way to get them together before the 1st of the year, then they will try, but with all the holidays coming up it will be pretty tricky.

So I am looking at right after the first of the year.  Yay!  What a way to kick off that New Year resolution. Was hoping for right away, but this is soo worth the wait.

The dr and nurses said for me to just enjoy eating over the holidays then hit this running.

But with my sugar levels and insulin, meds, etc, I can't enjoy that much with the foods and stay reasonable since I am being so strict, but a little endulgence here and there with a bite or two.  

Then I am sooo ready to hit this and of course it would be fabulous when I get some of the weight off, but I am soooo ready to get back to no or little meds, NO shots, and moving and feeling so much better.  

Can't think of a better Thanksgiving/Christmas/ New Years present for the new year.  :)

Now what????? How do I fight this monster???

As I wrote in the last blog post, I am to almost a despirate point that I have got to make some very serious life changing decisions as to where I go from here.

This is my monster I have pictured as being my weight monster!

I have a war to win against this guy!

I know my situation with being somewhat confined to home,  and somewhat limited to outings of many types,  (which even grocery shopping is almost a freedom break if there is such a thing while grocery shopping - lol) and nothing in the near future is going to change.

So I have got to figure out how to do that on a limited playing field.

Mind set!  

I have to get my mind set to do something about this weight no matter what it takes - good, bad or ugly!!!

I came home, still in disbelief of how far I had let this truly go with this monster of weight thing.  

With insulin shot in hand and sat there that night in the dark, all alone, just staring at the insulin vile, telling it (out loud I think)
that it would not be around very long!  I WOULD win some how some way.  I am NOT going to be a part of the world out there that has to take this the rest of my life.  I would do something drastic if necessary!

Then it hit me - BOOM!  I need this NOW.  My situation isn't changing, but I have to and I thought of a very sweet sister in law that has been battling this moster also.

She recently had gastric sleeve surgery to get this under control and in a permenant way.

Oh no I can't do that!  

I have always thought I couldn't and wouldn't make such a drastic venture as this!  

But as I set in the dark and poked my stomach for the first time and pushed the button to release the insulin - Oh your darn right I can!!!

I want something as drastic as this surgery to give me a tool that I can work with in a whole new light!  I want something I cannot reverse or just decide to toss to the side like many diet plans.

This is it!  

The answer to kick my butt into major gear and to get my handle on my monster.

The next day - I contacted my sister in law and wanted to know all the details.  I was very impressed.  She gave me the info and as soon as I mentioned it to hubby, he instantly said - we will figure out a way to get this done if this is what you want.  Yes I do.  So he jumped on it with insurance, etc and got even more details for me.

Within a couple of days I had signed up for the next available orientation of what is all involved with the procedures.  

Just a couple of weeks later, I head to Little Rock for the first conference.

Yay!  I have my mind made up - remember that monster?  I have wiped her nose off and heading to seeing appointments to get the ball rolling to clean up her/my act!

Just like any addict that has ever been known, I have my hiding places for this and that and the other of bites of candy, etc, that I keep hidden for those weak moments.  I have always been a sweet eater for as long as I can remember.

I have learned to pretty much give all them up but still have those lil secret stash places.  They are about empty.  I will finish tossing those soon.  Dollars spent or not - they are drugs of a type.  A drug that I am having a life threatening reacting to!!

I am NOT going to feed this monster any longer!!!

I kwon the war of the smoking monster (which was NOT easy) in 2005 which I guess got this started, or just an excuse to get this started perhaps.

NO more excuses!!!

I have printed a pic of my monster to hang on my fridge.  I want to never forget this creature who I have allowed to silently steal MY life.  

Fighting a loosing war. Now what?

It's been quite a while since I wrote anything relating to my journey of weight vs. health issues.  

And not in a good way.  

Muttling along as usual, as I guess most people do. Just doing enough with the eathing good/bad, but NOT going in the right direction, but not really gaining either.

I haven't really lost any in the past year.  Pretty much holding my own with the battle of the scales, but then again, it the the war of the weight issues, my health has been affected over time of being very overweight, I presume.

About a year ago, my blood work numbers were messed up but mainly due to the sugar related stuff.  I jumped back on track and worked really hard on the no carb thing and seriously dropped the sugar replacement stuff that I was consuming as it was a LOT!

I dropped a little bit of weight and blood work numbers looked better.  So, maintain really good for a while, but those pesky monster blood work numbers gradually rising back up.  My weight stayed about the same.

A couple of months ago, I started feeling extra everything. Extremely more tired, more miserable than ever, headaches regularly, lower back and upper back and everything in between becoming more uncomfortable, hip acting up from a fall several years ago, resulting in dislocating, along with just plain ole miserable.

I kept checking my glucose, and it would NOT budge. I was seriously being super great with the carbs, but the glucose would not move downward at all.  After a few days, started freaking me out just a bit.  I think I could feel ever number that kept showing up on my meter when testing.

It was as I was taking no meds at all and eating whatever, but I was being super good by this point.

Finally miserable enough and numbers not moving on glucose meter, I went to my Dr, which is so understanding but yet has known me for so long, can read me inside and out - (lol - litterily I guess.)

Instantly ordered full fasting everything blood work and since I already knew my blood sugar levels were through the roof with no amounts of cutbacks helping, I knew what I was in for, but still hated to hear that one word, which to me means - failure in my ability to control this diabetic/weight/blood pressure issue.

When the blood work came back - UGG!
Talk about hit like a brick wall.  

Even though I knew what it would be, to be told that Insulin was a MUST now along with being close to stroke levels on some of my blood work numbers was so very hard but at the same time a relief that I guess I sort of needed to know that I could get this a little under control - maybe.  

So with close monitoring, I began and slowly increased the insulin shots (only one a day and now 30 units per shot), got a grip on the numbers for my blood sugar.  

Feeling better?  Yes and no.  Several factors I know have to be much better.  But with the dosages I have to take of my meds - Ugg.  I think perhaps my body is not liking them any more and definitely NOT liking me.

I am to the point - I will do ANYTHING it takes to get this done!!  Drastic as may need to be - good- bad - or ugly I want this under control!!!

Sure I, myself along with everyone else out there that is human, wants to be thin or even somewhat thin and wear normal size clothing.  

But this is much more than that!  I want to feel better!!  I want to once again not be embarrassed when out in public and always wonder how big I look! 

I have usually looked at this for my loved ones which I would give the world for, but not for myself.  Well, now finally this is for ME. 

I have in recent months years, even started slacking on all of those measures to take care of my very special little family, whom I would give th world for, but since I have such a yuck feeling just about every minute of every day.

As for my special lil family, I am so very blessed to be married to one of the most supportive, special man I have ever met, whom would give me the world to be happy, who is also my very best friend, my confidaunt, and companion. 

I was so very blessed to have the opportunity to have given birth to a very special, beautiful, successful daughter who is now on her own.

My husband and I are raising a very special precious granddaughter whom is 7 and SUPER full of life and we are homeschooling her full time.  (who I swear is an exact clone of hubby, in a cute lil girl body).

Also, I am fortunate to have my 83 yr old mother that is living with us, who has advancing dementia and has to have someone close about all the time now.  

I guess some would call pretty demanding in many ways.  It was a huge change for all of us as these things were added and progressed to their current statuses.  

Which I guess contributed to a lot of stress and which I am a stress eater, a happy eater, an entertainment eater, a sad eater, rain or shine eater.  Mainly sweets, carbs etc.  Which I have learned to do without or strongly limit, but in all of this situation, I have always had issues with weight off and on just like many others do.  I have never been this overweight and have even lost all the excess weight a couple of times but with each time - end up larger than previously.

I am very limited to time to work set aside just for exercising for myself.  Which I will quickly admit I hate anyway, so doesn't take much to draw my attention to something else to have to tend to first.  

I am trying really hard to change some focus and try to re-arrange a few priorities to fight this monster! 

So just like many Oprah and Dr. Phil shows I have watched and totally agree with, I have to love and care for ME before I can take better care of my adorable supportive husband, daughter, granddaughter, my mom, etc.  
Not this I will do get to that later syndrome I feel like I have created.  

So for my many mental challenges ahead - I want to note to myself all the reasons that I need to get a grip on the weight thing.  

He (I am going to say she/it needs a name.  Not a nasty name, just a name that will be unusual for the pic of the Zicam monster image to use for now of my monster.

I will work on that name for later reference and to have in mind when I think of food/weight/life.

I want to work on cleaning it/her up, and hopefully feeling a LOT better than I currently feel which is about as nasty and miserable as this creature but to be ME once again.

But how - where to start that I haven't already fought and lost the small battles with?

When I quit smoking in 2005, I had already put some weight back on and told myself not to substitute food, but guess what - that didn't last.

I think I will start with a challenge list of what's and why's I so strongly and despirately need to win.

Here are some of the things I am working on for the fight with my monster are:

• #1 Total overall health
• No more pricks to check blood sugar
• NO MORE INSULIN
• No more blood pressure meds
• No more depression meds
• Quality of life to improve
• Easier/better movement
• Not being miserable from being sweating hot all the time, (even in winter)
• Not cronic feeling of being so tired and run down
• Not missing out on going on outings because of being so large or hot all the time.
• Not wearing mens 3x shirts almost all the time
• Feet - Back - Knees - Hip - Head not hurting nearly all the time!
• Happier with myself at being successful at something again.
• I am missing out of feeling good enough to get out and enjoy the little things in life.  (even though limited to staying home a lot - still pass up so much)
• Even so many small things way too numerous to write are so very important!!!
• MY LIFE!  

My battle after battle after battle with this diabetis, blood pressure, and so much more is like fighting constant ugly moster battles and loosing the over all war of staying healthy.  

That is about to STOP!!  

I want my control back!!!

Some how, some way, no matter what the 

necessary measure is - I want to win this dam war!  

Now what?????

My journey took a couple of nice turns today

Well, just when you think the day is set up and going one way, and turns out to go a total different directions - it's a pretty nice change for the good this time.

Got up first thing this morning, got myself, Haylee and mom ready and headed to the Dr. to check mom out and for her monthly B12 shot.  Ugg, just starts to rain as I start to get everyone to the car.

As we took off heading to town, the rain stops to and holds off for the
rest of the morning.  Yay!!

Mom gets so worked up and makes herself so nervous when I get her out, that I haven't done so much lately.  Don't know if that's a good thing or not.  And her short term memory is pretty much non existent any more.  But it's odd how some things stick and most doesn't but she sees someone from years ago, and knows them instantly.  Strange.

Got her back home and settled into understanding that her room is really her room, as she forgets who lives there.  She has her own rooms in part of my house.  Too many rooms is way too confusing to her.  She is so much better in her living room/bedroom with her own bath.  When I bring her into our rooms such as living room, it confuses the heck out of her instantly.  Even taking her outside for some fresh air and sunshine, and when bringing her back in, she can't figure out

Anyway, got her settled, started on Haylee a snack before convincing her to take a nap.  While doing so, Larry called and said he was going to be able to take off work for a change, and since we had someone after all to stay with mom, since her normal aide is off today, we could go to Batesville to have a nice lunch at Colton's.  Guess I could say, he didn't have to ask me twice.

Larry got home, went over everything with the new aide, and she seemed perfect and accustom and experienced enough, so got the new aide acquainted, and off we went.

Nice surprise to get out of town with my hubby for the afternoon.  Doesn't happen very often.  We went to Colton's and yes, I had a big steak, but very minimal potatoes and one roll.  Carb-wise I was super.  And just now had my shake for dinner since I ate for lunch.  So just switcharoo-ed them.  hehe = - is that a word?  lol!

Sometimes refreshing lil' last minute splurges are so very nice.  And we should all jump on them as much as possible.

Nice drive, nice visit with two of my favorite people and mmmm - my steak was fab!!

:)

TGIF. Still chuggin' along.

I feel like I have had a really good week in spite of not being full blast on the exercise.


I have done a super job not nibbling on no-no's or stopping by a fast food place - McDonald's #3's are a weakness!

Now for the challenges of the weekend.  Hummmm!  I will just try to be 

as good as possible and will try to exercise at least one of the days.  

Ashley and I decided that Sunday morning's will be our weigh in days.  I am 

hoping for a pound, but not going to push for any more than that.  I am going to try to keep the mental picture of the muscle vs. fat in mind so that if I don't do super on the scales, maybe it will be converting over.  :P

I will be sure to check in on Sunday if not before to log how we did.  Good luck to my darlin' daughter.  :)  Luv ya bunches and wish you lots of luck and lots of minus'es.

How to calculate exact calories YOU need to cut to lose weight and increase metabolism?

I am so excited to find out how many calories I am 

actually suppose to have to work with.

Once again I have been playing around online trying to come up with more ideas on metabolism - how it works, (and doesn't work) and how to increase.

All of us have heard of BMI (body mass index) I am not even going to go there on what mine would be at this point.

But I just ran across a site that shows how to figure out your BMR.  Basal Metabolic Rate (the number of calories you'd burn if you stayed in bed all day)  Which I could do the "in bed all day" thing but not 

quite possible. lol!  

Such simple steps.  

1.  Go to:  http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

    when you enter the correct amt into the "calculator"  click on  

   "Calculate BMR"

2.  The page will refresh and give your amt on a green line just 

     above the calculator boxes

3.  After you know your # for BMR, click on the link just under 

    the calculator that says, "Daily Caloric Needs".  

    This takes you to a new page that has a formula to figure 

    your BMR x Activity level

4.  After you have that number figured, click on the appropriate line 

    that states:  calorie intake to lose weight.

    This will take you to a new page that will explain how to adjust your 
    calorie intake and then exercise is a plus to making this factor work 
    even better.         

**p.s.  

* I had NO idea how many calories I should really be consuming to lose weight at a safe rate, as eating too little is just as tough since your metabolism slows.  I am amazed and excited to have a formula to 

see just what it should be.  

Also, I am trying so hard to make sure I have something to eat every 

3-4 hrs.  Even if it's a little something, just to keep my stubborn lil' 

'Metabo' guy awake and clicking along.  

Ideas to increase my lazy "Metabo"

I have been playing around online to find ways to increase the 

activity of my personal "Metabo" guy that is just plain lazy.  :P

I ran across this site that has some good info so thought I would share.

*******************

How to Increase Metabolism

Here are 10 metabolism boosting foods that will increase your metabolism and help you lose weight by boost metabolism

1. Water! A new study seems to indicate that drinking water actually speeds up weight loss and is a great way how to increase metabolism. Researchers in Germany found that subjects of the study increased their metabolic rates (the rate at which calories are burned) by 30 percent after drinking approximately 17 ounces of water. Water is also a natural appetite suppressant that banishes bloat as it flushes out sodium and toxins. Drinking enough water will also help keep you from mistaking thirst for hunger. So drink up! Make sure that you are starting your day with a big big glass of water and drink throughout the day not just all at one time.

2. Green Tea! Studies show that green tea extracts boost metabolism and may aid in weight loss. This mood-enhancing tea has also been reported to contain anti-cancer properties and help prevent heart disease. It’s also a trendy drink among weight-conscious celebrities. You may Have already seen my green tea articles but this may be one really fantastic herb and it tastes nice too!

3. Soup! Eat less and burn fat faster by having a bowl of soup as an appetizer or a snack. According to a Penn State University study, soup is a super appetite suppressant because it’s made up of a hunger-satisfying combination of liquids and solids. In the study, women chose one of three 270-calorie snacks before lunch. Women who had chicken and rice soup as a snack consumed a n average of 100 fewer calories than those in the study who opted for a chicken and rice casserole or the casserole and a glass of water. I used to joke that soup is not a meal but it really dies fill you for very few calories and remember that when you eat a food with a lot of taste it really will satisfy.

4. Grapefruit! The grapefruit diet is not a myth. Researchers at Scripps Clinic found that participants who ate half a grapefruit with each meal in a 12-week period lost an average of 3.6 pounds. The study indicates that the unique chemical properties in this vitamin C-packed citrus fruit reduce insulin levels, which promotes weight loss and boost metabolism. NOTE: If you are taking medication, check with your doctor about any potentially adverse interactions with grapefruit.Grapefruit, because of the soft peel is a nice alternative to an apple of orange and study after study of the last 30 years has shown that it can really help burn fat.

5. Apples and Pears! Overweight women who ate the equivalent of three small apples or pears a day lost more weight on a low-calorie diet than women who didn’t add fruit to their diet, according to re searchers from the State University of Rio de Janeiro. Fruit eaters also ate fewer calories overall. So next time you need to satisfy a sugar craving, reach for this low-calorie, high-fiber snack. You’ll feel full longer and eat less.

6. Broccoli! Study after study links calcium and weight loss. Broccoli is not only high in calcium, but also loaded with vitamin C, which boosts calcium absorption. This member of the nutritious cabbage family also has plenty of vitamin A, folate and fiber. And, at just 20-calories per cup, this weight-loss superfood not only fights fat but also contains powerful phytochemicals that boost your immunity and protect against disease.

7. Low-Fat Yogurt! Dairy products can boost weight loss efforts, according to a study in the April issue of Obesity Research. People on a reduced-calorie diet who included three to four servings of dairy foods lost significantly more weight than those who ate a low-dairy diet containing the same number of calories. Low-fat yogurt is a rich source of weight-loss-friendly calcium, providing about 450 mg (about half the recommended daily allowance for women ages 19-50) per 8-ounce serving, as well as 12 grams of protein. As far as superfood go Yogurt is right there. It includes calcium, protein and a ton of other nutrients as well as good bacteria and probiotics for you digestive tract.

8. Lean Turkey! Rev up your fat-burning engine with this bodybuilder favorite. Countless studies have shown that protein can help boost metabolism, lose fat and build lean muscle tissue so you burn more calories. A 3-ounce serving of boneless, skinless lean turkey breast weighs in at 120 calories and provides 26 grams of appetite-curbing protein, 1 gram of fat and 0 grams of saturated fat. With the price of chicken going up and up these days Turkey has become a great alternative. Remember that Turkey is a little tougher than chicken and the taste is a little different but it is not just for Thanksgiving and Christmas anymore.

9. Oatmeal! This heart-healthy favorite ranks high on the good carb list, because it’s a good source of cholesterol-fighting, fat-soluble fiber (7 grams per 3/4-cup serving) that keeps you full and provides you with the energy you need to make the most of your workouts. Just be sure to choose steel cut or rolled oats, not instant oatmeal, to get your full dose of vitamins, minerals and fiber. For many years now Pro Bodybuilders have relied on Oatmeal as a staple of their breakfast, it is amazingly high in nutrients.

10. Hot Peppers! Eating hot peppers can speed up and boost metabolism and cool your cravings, researchers at Laval University in Canada found. Here’s why: Capsaicin (a chemical found in jalapeno and cayenne peppers) temporarily stimulates your body to release more stress hormones, which speeds up your metabolism and causes you to burn more calories.

Metabolism Boosting Foods

Here’s how these 10 fat-blasting superstars help you lose weight and how to increase metabolism.

Each of these healthy weight-loss boosters fills you up and keeps you full longer on fewer calories.

Water-rich fresh fruits, veggies and soup dilute the calories in your food and allow you to eat more without breaking the calorie bank.

High-fiber fruit, vegetables and nutritious whole grains keep your digestive system on track and steady insulin levels, which prevents fat storage.

Lean meat boosts metabolism and burns calories because it take more energy to digest than other foods.

Info for this post found at: 

http://www.fitnesstipsforlife.com/10-foods-to-raise-your-metabolism.html